Evolution of Expression

“I know I am in my own world. It’s OK, they know me here.”

Never a truer statement. You see, my dear read, I’ve always lived inside my own head. And not just one life, but many.

I have, and continue, to daydream all the time and this is probably why it takes me twice as long to do anything. While I should be getting up in the morning, while cooking and eating, while working and exercising, and always before falling asleep, my mind is split between two worlds – reality and imaginary.

Confessions of an introvert: I often prefer being inside my own head.

Apologies of an introvert: I often become inexplicably irritable when I am pulled out of it.

(This was a thousand times worse in my teenage years).

Speaking of teenage years, in high school the characters became too loud so I began to (poorly) doodling them – often taking time from homework I should have been doing. But it wasn’t until university that it ever occurred to me to write my stories down.

I used to dread writing. It was always a forced exercise – either for school or for work. Even creative writing homework bored me. I found it uninspiring. And writing for pleasure just took away from my time to day dream. It slowed down the dreaming process.

Much like drawing, I became frustrated when I would try writing something and it wouldn’t have the right feel, the right texture, the right rhythm. The ironic part is that in my imagination, I knew what sense I was trying to convey, I just can’t seem to find the right words in the right order to get my message across (this first blog entry was no exception).

I still find it frustrating but now I see it more as a challenge. Kind of like a jigsaw puzzle – if the puzzle had pieces that change shape as you are trying to fit them together based off a fuzzy sample picture. Sounds like fun, eh?

Well oddly enough, I do find it rewarding. And here’s the really strange part, I actually feel anxious if I haven’t had the opportunity to write in awhile.

My expectation is that this blog will give me an excuse to write more and act as an outlet to express myself. Because although I would no longer consider myself shy, I do have issues voicing my thoughts and feelings. And apparently, I have a lot of feels.

So how do you express yourself?

Remember, we’re all in this together.